My Life In Film: Part 31

After another, seemingly never ending, hiatus the movie juggernaut that is My Life In Film… returns to fill the void left by its television counterpart.  It truly feels like years since I last got to delve into the cinematic vaults to peruse those films that have helped shape me and have offered inspiration over the years.  Some are true classics, while others are probably seen as folly to include in such esteemed company.  What bonds them all is the enjoyment I have taken from each and every one.  We’ve got dinosaurs, cowboys and nuns, what more could you want out of life?

 

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III (2006)

One of the true joys in watching movies is seeing when a franchise, rather than follow in the tradition of diminishing returns, goes from strength to strength.  The Mission: Impossible franchise does just that.  Since the 1996 original, Tom Cruise has upped the collective game of each successive movie, defying death in breath-taking stunts along the way.  Personally, the only stumbling block it faced was in the second outing, but it soon picked up the pace with this instalment.  IMF agent Ethan Hunt (Cruise) comes up against a truly sadistic foe in the shape of Philip Seymour Hoffman‘s arms dealer Owen Davian.  As with every Impossible movie, some of the creative talent changes on each round.  Here we have Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Maggie Q and Simon Pegg joining Ving Rhames to assist Hunt’s mission while director J.J. Abrams injects some much needed vigour to proceedings and reinvigorates the franchise.  With the sixth instalment, Fallout, currently in cinemas, it seems unlikely to end its hugely successful run any time soon.

WATCH IT FOR: Bridge Attack!

 

SISTER ACT (1992)

This smash-hit musical comedy sees Whoopi Goldberg play a Las Vegas nightclub singer who witnesses a mob hit and is placed under police protection in a strict nunnery.  This could very well have been a below average, straight-to-video affair but, in the hands of director Emile Ardolino and with a stellar cast that also includes Maggie Smith, Harvey Keitel and a scene-stealing Kathy Najimy, Sister Act proved to be a monster success.  The joy comes from Goldberg’s worldly-wise character being forced to adhere to strict rules and learning to grow in the process.  Add to this an array of fabulous musical numbers and a roster of wonderful supporting performances and you’ve got one of the funniest movies in recent years.  A somewhat lacklustre sequel in 1993 and a monumentally successful stage run followed but it will always be this film that steals the show.

WATCH IT FOR: Hail Holy Queen

 

PANIC ROOM (2002)

Newly divorced Meg (Jodie Foster) moves into a new, four-storey house with her daughter, Sarah (Kristen Stewart).  The previous owner of the house, a reclusive millionaire, had installed a panic room to protect the occupants from intruders.  On the night they move in, Meg discovers that they have been broken into and promptly takes herself and Sarah off to the panic room for safety.  But what the robbers want is hidden in a locked safe in the panic room.  Director David Fincher really knows how to crank up the tension in this thriller that also co-stars Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto and Dwight Yoakam.  Its a battle of wits between Meg and the three intruders that lasts until the all-too-familiar crowd-pleasing finale.  Its still worth a look, though!

WATCH IT FOR: The panic room!

 

FATAL ATTRACTION (1987)

A cautionary tale about infidelity told through the medium of a psychological thriller.  Michael Douglas plays happily married New York lawyer Dan Gallagher who, while his wife and daughter are away, has an affair with his colleague, Alex (Glenn Close).  This brief, one night stand soon turns ugly when it appears that Alex doesn’t want to let Dan go and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.  Its a film that has become so iconic and has infused the collective psyche with its story of a woman scorned and the lengths she’ll go to not be ignored.  Douglas and Close are electrifying in Adrian Lyne‘s thrilling drama that also sees Anne Archer as the put-upon wife and one, poor bunny!

WATCH IT FOR: “I’m not going to be ignored…”

 

SING STREET (2016)

Here’s an absolutely joyous Irish film set in the early part of the eighties where music exploded onto the landscape.  Conor (Ferdia Walsh-Peelo) meets a girl who appears uninterested.  No worry, though, he’ll start a band to impress her.  Director John Carney (Once, Begin Again) has crafted a film with such joy and optimism that you almost forget how painful it was to be a kid growing up.  The whole cast are magnificent, even the older, supporting performers, and the whole film is sprinkled with drama, humour and some stonkingly brilliant songs.  If you only see one film from this list, let it be this one, it will change your life and lift your heart.

WATCH IT FOR: Drive It Like You Stole It

 

THE WILD BUNCH (1969)

In this western, his love letter to a dying genre, director Sam Peckinpah brings to the screen one of his most bloodiest and acclaimed movies.  Ageing outlaw William Holden, along with his ‘Wild Bunch’ cohorts that includes Ernest Borgnine and Ben Johnson, decides to take on one last job to see out his days.  The way of the west is changing and men like them can either fade away or go out in a blaze of glory.  Famed for its brutal end shoot-out, The Wild Bunch is much more of a human drama as we witness these old cowboys coming to terms with their lot in life.  Holden is on blistering form, as are the rest of the cast – Warren Oates, Robert Ryan and Edmond O’Brien to name just a few, but it is Peckinpah who is the real hero here, a director so forward-thinking and so ahead of his time.

WATCH IT FOR: “Let’s go…”

 

ONE OF OUR DINOSAURS IS MISSING (1975)

Here’s one of those films that always seemed to be shown on television during the school holidays.  Its a light Disney adventure involving spies, dinosaurs and nannies!  Lord Southmere (Derek Nimmo) escapes from China with an important microfilm but is captured by Chinese spies lead by Peter Ustinov‘s Hnup Wan.  Southmere manages to escape from his captors and eventually finds a safe place to hide the microfilm – inside the bones of a dinosaur at the National History Museum.  He then approaches his former nanny, Hettie (Helen Hayes) to retrieve the microfilm before the spies can get their hands on it.  What follows is a farcical race through the countryside with a stolen dinosaur skeleton, a bunch of renegade nannies and a host of familiar faces.  Its a bit of fun from an earlier, more innocent, age which accounts for the very non-PC portrayal of the Chinese.  But this is Disney doing what it did best, fun family entertainment.

WATCH IT FOR: Stealing the dinosaur

 

RED HEAT (1988)

Arguably, the eighties saw the height of the buddy cop movie with various twists along the way, including this one from director Walter Hill.  Tough Russian policeman Ivan Danko (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent to Chicago on the trail of a Georgian drug lord who killed his partner.  On his arrival in the Windy City, Danko is partnered with tough, Chicago detective Art Ridzik (James Belushi) who has apprehended Danko’s drug lord.  What follows is your standard action fare with the pair not getting along at first only to find that they need to work together in order to bring the drug lord down.  Belushi and Schwarzenegger are a great pairing and can both handle the action and comedy in this blistering, knockout thriller.

WATCH IT FOR: Trailer

 

THE SANDLOT (1993)

For a long time throughout the 80s and into the 90s, kids’ movies were pretty dire affairs that were just long versions of one joke.  But every so often a film comes along that grabs the audience’s attention and never lets go.  The Sandlot is that film.  Set in the summer of 1962, Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry) is new to town and just wants to play baseball.  The neighbourhood baseball guru, Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) takes him under his wing and soon Scotty finds himself accepted by the local baseball buddies.  Its a wonderfully bright, funny and heart-warming coming-of-age film that you can enjoy even if you don’t know the first thing about baseball.  Its hard to believe that its now twenty-five years old now but it still feels fresh as the first time I saw it.

WATCH IT FOR: Trailer

 

TREMORS (1990)

I’m not usually a fan of horror or even monster flicks but this one seemed to grab me like no other.  Residents of the small town of Depression find that there is something lurking under the ground and is killing anything that moves.  Local handymen Valentine (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward) are desperate to leave town but are forced into helping out their neighbours in this fun homage to the classic B-movies of old.  Director Ron Underwood delivers the shock value as well as much needed humour while the rest of the cast, including Finn Carter, Michael Gross and Reba McEntire, seem to delight in this cult, schlock horror that has since spawned five sequels, a TV series and a forthcoming TV movie reboot with Bacon reprising his role.

WATCH IT FOR: Pole vault!

 

And we’re off and running! A brand new batch of movies to add to the ever-growing list that always amazes me just how eclectic my tastes are.  I don’t think you can truly enjoy cinema unless you embrace all genres, though and there are plenty to choose from in this list.  Part 32 promises to be just as varied with bona fide classics and blockbusting action to boot.  As ever, if you like what you’ve seen here please do feel free to get in touch in the usual way, I’d love to hear from you (yes, even if you hate it!).  Until the next time…

“You’re killing me, Smalls!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Life In Film: Stinkers II: Stink Harder

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

Following on from last year’s runaway success, it was almost inevitable that a sequel was given the greenlight.  The original Stinkers saw the likes of Titanic and the truly awful Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice take the honours.  As with most sequels, this one features some familiar faces as well as a guest star from a Hollywood legend.  What I must stress here is that the views expressed in the following are my own but if you happen to share them then I think you’re alright!  If you don’t…I think you might need to get some help! Anyway, prepare yourselves, we’re going in…

 

BAYWATCH (2017)

I’ve got absolutely nothing against Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson other than some of his work-related choices.  This one, in particular, brought me out in hives and made me want to throw things.  Based (very, very loosely) on the hit eighties kitsch television show of the same name, Baywatch sees lifeguard Mitch Buchanan (Johnson) clash with hot new recruit, Matt Brody (Zac Efron) while foiling a criminal plot.  I have many issues with this film, not least the brand of ‘humour’ that seems to be rife in modern comedies.  Gross-out humour, as its known, does absolutely nothing for me nor does the excessive use of the F-word.  I lost count of how many times it was used within the first five minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude by any means but there comes a point when you wonder how these films get made. Vulgar comedy, to me, isn’t comedy.  It is just a cheap way to get laughs from people who don’t know any better.  How I managed to make it through to the end of the film (and the unbelievably unfunny outtakes) is beyond me.  Its such a shame because Johnson has made better movies than this, I just think he needs to consult better people about the choices he makes.

VERDICT: I’ve had tooth extractions that were funnier!

 

GHOST IN THE SHELL (2017)

Not surprisingly, another remake makes the cut in the form of this terrible sci-fi mess. The film didn’t get off to a great start with all the negative press surrounding the casting of Scarlett Johansson as the Japanese lead character.  Online protests over the whitewashing in Hollywood were made worse when it was reported that the VFX team were working on making the actors look Asian, although these were rejected.  In spite of this, the film itself is a complete mess.  A case of style over substance with the makers trying to recreate the stunning visuals of the original Anime feature.  To give you an idea of how bad this film is, I didn’t even make it through to the end.  I managed about 40 minutes before I gave up.

VERDICT: Ditch this and go watch the original instead, much better acting!

 

THE FLINTSTONES (1994)

Sometimes, the casting of a film is so much better than the film itself.  This one of those times.  It was while working on his 1989 movie, Always, that Steven Spielberg told John Goodman that he would be a great Fred Flintstone.  To all extent and purposes he is a great Fred Flintstone, its just unfortunate that the movie is a honking mess.  Even with Rick Moranis as Barney Rubble and having the lure of Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor out of retirement, The Flintstones just doesn’t work.  Everyone in the movie business always extols the virtue of a great script so it always baffles me when stuff like this gets the go-ahead.  And don’t even get me started on the sequel!!!

VERDICT: In the words of the late, great Barry Norman: “Yabba-dabba-don’t”!

 

YOUNG EINSTEIN (1988)

In the late-eighties and into the early-nineties I was never out of the local cinema.  I would go with friends and watch literally anything, even this.  Regarded as one of Australia’s most influential and avant-garde artists, Yahoo Serious shot to international fame with this comedy about the young Albert Einstein who, as well as discovering the theory of relativity, discovers rock music.  Serious wrote, produced, directed and starred in what is, essentially, an over-zealous vanity project.  I remember at the time that I was taken with the quirkiness of film but sometimes, quirky just isn’t enough.  Granted, I haven’t seen the film since – I doubt its even been shown on TV or even has a DVD release – so it could be better than I remember.  Unlikely, though.

VERDICT: Seriously?

 

COP AND A HALF (1993)

Oh, Burt Reynolds, you really have made some out and out turkeys.  Take a look down his list of credits and you could take your pick of any number of disasters but, for me, this one takes the biscuit.  A smart-ass kid, played by Norman D. Golden II, witnesses a murder but refuses to testify unless he can become a police officer.  Enter Reynolds’ child-hating veteran cop and you’ve got one of the worst buddy movies ever made.  Reynolds’ career has had more ups and down than most with this one being on the down trajectory.  His career would receive a boost a few years later with Striptease and Boogie Nights but, in all honesty, he’ll be best remembered for his hits in the seventies and a string of disappointing bombs like this one.

VERDICT: Hardly worth half a star!

 

SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991)

It was a tough choice between this and Mr Nanny as the Hulk Hogan film that would make the list.  While Mr Nanny is truly awful, this sci-fi caper is phenomenally dire.  Hogan plays an intergalactic hero who crash lands on earth and must hide out in suburbia until he can get back home.  Situations like this have been done to death and much, much better but the fact that Hogan, who was (surprisingly) a huge draw at the time, can do little but grimace and flex, shows the weakness of the script.  Despite the presence of Christopher Lloyd, Suburban Commando is proof that some films only get made because of an idea rather than a fully rounded screenplay.

VERDICT: A big, Hulking mess!

 

SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL (1997)

What happens when you take one of the biggest action movies of the nineties and give it a sequel that is so unbelievably awful that one its stars declares it to be “the biggest piece of crap ever made”?  Sandra Bullock (who has starred in her fair share of turkeys)supposedly said that about this film in a 2000 interview and she’s not wrong.  You’d think it would be difficult to find a duller screen pairing than Bullock and Keanu Reeves but, somehow, the makers of Speed 2: Cruise Control managed it.  Jason Patric, who hasn’t made a decent movie since Sleepers in 1996, takes over the action man mantle from Reeves who opted to tour with his band, Dogstar (good choice!) rather than feature here.  There’s no point trying to talk about plot or performances, unless you want me to mention Willem Defoe‘s OTT villain?  No?  Fair enough.  Jan de Bont has five directing credits on IMDb and, with the exception of the original Speed and Twister, all of them are horrific!

VERDICT: Rush hour hits the water…and promptly sinks without trace!

 

JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017)

Just when you thought a film couldn’t be any worse than Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, along comes Justice League.  I can only tell you what I think of the first 40 minutes of this film as that’s when I had had enough and switched it off.  What I can tell you is that in those first forty minutes, absolute nothing of any significance happens.  Its slower than my broadband provider and about as entertaining as listening to Glenn Hoddle commentate on an England football match.  Ben Affleck, as Bruce Wayne/Batman, has no charm whatsoever and mooches about like a bored teenager during the school holidays.  I could say that the addition of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, Jason Momoa as Aquaman and Ezra Miller as The Flash brought something special to proceedings but they really didn’t.  Watching this felt like I was wading through a vat of treacle and my only saving grace was that I could switch it off.  I knew I wouldn’t like it before I put it on yet, like a scab on your knee, my curiosity got the better of me.  Never again!

VERDICT: There ain’t no justice in this world!

 

PROBLEM CHILD (1990)

The problem with Problem Child is…well, there are far too many problems with it. I tried to watch it again recently and, honestly, as well as the poor script and direction it really hasn’t aged well at all.  A truly despicable child is shipped from one orphanage to another, seemingly causing destruction wherever he goes.  He is eventually palmed off on a couple so desperate for a child that they will accept anything.  Even the ever reliable John Ritter can’t save this tragic waste of celluloid.

VERDICT: Monstrous!

 

Once again I must stress that these are purely my views, you might have other ideas about what constitutes a Stinker.  I’ve found, though, the older I get less tolerant of lazy filmmaking and underwhelming movies.  The world doesn’t need more Kevin James movies, nor does it need a never ending conveyor belt of ever-weakening comic book franchises.  I know I’m not alone in this sentiment but it seems that this is the way it is, for now.  Anyway, for a look at a better class of movies you could always check out my growing list of #MyLifeInFilm posts…currently numbered at 300 films, this is a list of cinemas best as well as those movies that have made some sort of an impact on me over the years.  New posts are imminent (Part 31 will follow this post) as well as the occasional special feature.  For now, though, I hope you’ve enjoyed my little rant at some of (in my opinion) cinema’s worst movies and I hope to see you at the pictures again very soon…

 

My Life In TV: Part Thirty

Here we go, the final part of this televisual odyssey.  I say ‘final’ but I could, quite honestly, change my mind by the time it comes around again.  For now, though, take it all in as from the next edition, the movies will reign supreme once more.  For this (so far) last edition there are dodgy dealers, rule breakers and a talking pot plant!  Let’s get to work…

 

LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER (2014-present)

I usually don’t participate in political programmes, I find myself getting far too angry watching the stupidity of the world.  Thankfully, there is a show that watches everything for me.  British export and former Daily Show correspondent, John Oliver, presents a weekly news satire show, dissecting the week’s news and shedding light on the stories missing from the headlines.  Its a pretty no-holds-barred approach to the subject, especially in this turbulent time for global politics, and I can honestly say I’ve learned more from watching this show than I ever could watching the news itself!

WATCH IT FOR: Stupid Watergate!

 

MURDER ONE (1995-1997)

What I remember most about this show from Steven Bochco was the gruff performance of the first series lead, Daniel Benzali.  He was Teddy Hoffman, a brilliant lawyer in charge of a crack team of litigators who are defending the rather seedy Stanley Tucci in a high profile murder case.  Tucci’s character is found not guilty but continues to plant himself into the investigation when a hot, young actor is later on trial for the same murder.  The story plays out over the whole series (a rarity back then) and the show returned for a second series but, by that time, most of the original cast had been replaced and the show suffered as a result.

WATCH IT FOR: Opening titles (Series 1)

 

ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES… (1981-2003)

I can’t believe its taken me all this time to add this classic sitcom to the list (in all honesty, I thought I’d already done it!).  From the brilliant mind of John Sullivan, OFAH follows the lives of two brothers – Del (David Jason) and Rodney (Nicholas Lyndhurst) – who live with their grandad (Lennard Pearce) on a rough Peckham estate.  Ever the entrepreneurs, Del and Rodney jump from dodgy deal to even dodgier deal in search for that elusive scheme that will make them millionaires.  Sullivan’s writing, as ever, is full of pathos and punch-in-the-face comedy, delivered by an exceptional cast that ensured this would be one of Britain’s best-loved sitcoms of all time.

WATCH IT FOR: The bar scene!

 

THE ADVENTURE GAME (1980-1986)

Now this show was bonkers! I have very vague memories of it, mostly the Vortex Game at the end, but it seems to be one of those programmes that sits nicely in the hearts of a certain generation.  A group of celebrities of the day find themselves trapped on a planet and must navigate their way out by finding a crystal to power their spaceship home.  Unfortunately they have to solve some fiendish puzzles in order to do so.  It was a mental programme, with a pot plant that was also royalty, serious newsreader Moira Stuart in a jumpsuit and that end game where, if you stepped on the wrong square you were zapped into non-existence (or something like that!).  Bonkers!

WATCH IT FOR: The Vortex!

 

DIFF’RENT STROKES (1978-1986)

One of the many ways a sitcom can immediately grab an audience is either with a fish-out-of-water situation or a cultural and social clash.  Diff’rent Strokes seemed to cover both bases with a wealthy Manhattan family adopting the children of their late, African American housekeeper.  As well as the usual issues and moral high ground episodes, this sitcom was all about Arnold (Gary Coleman) who, along with his brother Willis (Todd Bridges) cause all sorts of chaos for Phillip Drummond (Conrad Bain) and his daughter, Kimberley (Dana Plato).  With a catchphrase that has spanned the decades and the sad, true life stories of some of its stars, Diff’rent Strokes has almost become more infamous than most other shows of the time.

WATCH IT FOR: That theme song!

 

DIY SOS (1999-present)

What I love about DIY SOS is how it has evolved since it first started almost twenty years ago!  Back then it was your standard half-hour home renovation programme, but along the way it has become something much more significant.  Actually changing lives rather than just a room or two.  Presented by Nick Knowles, the show now features ‘Big Builds’ where massive projects that would normally take months to complete are undertaken in just 9 days.  Projects that affect communities, bring families together and make a difference when all hope has been lost.  The team – Billy, Chris, Julian, Mark and a revolving door of designers – work brilliantly together, getting stuck into the lives of those they are changing.  It is truly one of the most uplifting television programmes you could ever watch.

WATCH IT FOR: A full episode!

 

C.A.B. (1986-1989)

I’ll be honest, I remember very little about what this programme was all about other than it involved two kids investigating weird goings on from their base of a bric-a-brac shop, formerly a Citizens Advice Bureau (the CAB of the title).  I seem to recall the mysteries they solved were of the ancient and mystical kind, often involving bizarre characters that would frequent the shop.  I remember watching it and wanting to be a secret agent just like Colin and Franny but nothing ever happened where I lived! It ran for three series but, frankly, I couldn’t tell you anything more about it.  If you want the full lowdown, click here for an exhaustive website!

WATCH IT FOR: Compilation

 

A COUNTRY PRACTICE (1981-1993)

I’ve made no secret of my love for the Australian soaps, I’d go so far as to say there should be a dedicated channel just showing all the classics.  A Country Practice, set in the fictional rural town of Wandin Valley, follows the lives of its residents and the daily events at the busy hospital and surrounding areas.  Full of the usual types of characters, I always thought this show was more light-hearted than all the others and, as such, I think I probably enjoyed it more when it was shown here on weekday afternoons.  Also, its another memory I have of sharing a programme with my mum who also loved an Aussie soap!

WATCH IT FOR: The opening theme

 

THE KENNY EVERETT TELEVISION SHOW (1981-1988)

I was probably too young to actually remember this going out live but I do have memories of watching it.  Even as a youngster I was aware that Kenny Everett wasn’t like anybody else on TV.  He was dangerous, a rule-breaker and for a long time I didn’t really ‘get’ what it was he was doing.  I think he was too ahead of his time to be taken seriously as an innovator.  This show broke moulds.  It brought techniques to television that nobody else had thought about as well as some of the funniest characters and sketches you could imagine.  Everett died too young, but left a broadcasting legacy that has been harvested in the years since his passing.

WATCH IT FOR: The Best Of…

 

SUPERTED (1983-1986)

You know the story, a teddy bear is discarded at the factory for being defective, teddy bear is found by a visiting alien who sprinkles his cosmic dust and teddy bear becomes super hero!  SuperTed (voiced by Derek Griffiths) and his trusty friend, Spotty (Jon Pertwee) save those in need from the likes of the evil Texas Pete (Victor Spinetti) and his sidekicks Bulk (Roy Kinnear) and Skeleton (Melvyn Hayes).  Whenever I think of this charming animation it is with fondness and with a hope that, one day, it will be repeated again!

WATCH IT FOR: Opening titles

 

And that, as they say, is that! Thirty editions of My Life In TV… which equates to 300 television programmes that I have watched, loved and been inspired by over the years.  Who knows, maybe I’ll return to this segment again but, for now, its taking a well earned rest.  The next time we meet it will be at the movies.  If, for some bizarre reason, you have enjoyed this blog then please do feel free to get in touch and, if at all possible, tell your friends.  I’d love to hear from you.  Until we meet again…

“It was all done in the best possible taste!”

 

 

TV Heroes: Morecambe & Wise

There are very few comedians today that I can watch over and over again and still laugh out loud like it was the first time.  That’s the feeling I get whenever I watch an episode of The Morecambe & Wise Show.  It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen them I still find myself in fits of laughter at their silliness.

Eric and Ernie were, and in my opinion still are, Britain’s greatest double act.  A friendship formed on the stages of vaudeville theatres up and down the country, carefully honing their routine before the bright lights of radio and television called to them.

They made their name in radio before transferring to television in their now infamous first series for the BBC, Running Wild.  This sketch show wasn’t well received.  Following the first episode Kenneth Bailey, writing for The People, said of the programme:

“Definition of the Week: TV set: the box in which they buried Morecambe and Wise”

Such was the impact of this one review, Eric is said to have carried it in his wallet for the rest of his life.  The series ran for six episodes before disappearing without a trace.  Disheartened by the experience, the pair returned to the variety circuit where they knew they could control the output.

After treading the comedy boards for a while, they were soon invited back as guests on various radio and television shows.  Upon their return from a tour of Australia they realised that live variety was dying and being replaced by the much more popular television.  They decided to concentrate on getting themselves another shot at a TV series which they soon received in the shape of Two of a Kind for ATV.

Two of a Kind saw Eric and Ernie team up with writers Sid Green and Dick Hills and, following a lucky break involving an actors strike, the show found a rhythm and, more importantly, an audience.  This series saw the beginning of some of the gags and catchphrases that the pair became famous for, not to mention the humiliating of their celebrity guests.  Running for six series, in 1968 Lew Grade began negotiating for the pair to return for a further three years but, unable to offer the technological advances of his competitors (producing the show in colour!), Grade’s attempts failed as Eric and Ernie accepted an offer to return to the BBC.

On September 2nd 1968 the first episode of The Morecambe & Wise Show was broadcast on BBC2.  As part of the deal, Sid and Dick were brought across to write the scripts with John Ammonds coming on board as producer with Ernest Maxin taking over the reins from 1975.  Satisfied with the finished product, the new team were looking forward to preparing for the next series when, on November 2nd, just over two weeks after the last episode of the series aired, Eric suffered a massive heart attack while driving to his hotel in Batley.  Immediately, plans for the next series were put on hold with Bill Cotton, head of BBC, allowing whatever time was needed for a full recovery.  Sid and Dick, however, were less convinced that Eric would return to work and thus decided to quit and return to ATV.

Enter Eddie Braben.  Ken Dodd‘s gag writer, Braben brought a warmth and love to the duo’s act that had previously been missing based on his own observations of the pair.  The shows became more structured, the opening ‘spot’ in front of curtains that added to the live theatre feel of the show along with guests, scenes set in their flat, the play ‘wot Ernie wrote’ and, of course, the song at the end.  It gave the audience the feel that they had actually spent the night out at the theatre and, gradually, the numbers increased.  Viewing figures rose, especially for the Christmas specials, with the 1977 Christmas show reaching peak audience of 28 million.  But, early the next year, the pair announced that they would once again be leaving the BBC for a new life at Thames Television.

The lure of the Thames years was the promise of more films.  They had made three films in the sixties for the Rank Organisation – The Intelligence Men (1965), That Riviera Touch (1966) and The Magnificent Two (1967) – but neither of these movies set the world alight.  Thames offered the opportunity to make another film alongside their usual television work.  Unfortunately, the dream BBC team didn’t follow the duo to ITV – Maxin declined the move while Braben was under an exclusive contract to write for the BBC.  Barry Cryer and John Junkin were brought on as writers but, by 1979 Eric had suffered another heart attack, this time requiring bypass surgery.  Their first, full series for Thames came in 1980 once Eric had fully recovered.  By this time John Ammonds had come back on board and had successfully lobbied for Braben to return once his BBC contract had ended.  However, the reduced running time and added commercial breaks restricted Braben’s creativity and the show found itself reusing old gags.  After four series for Thames and the pair becoming less enamoured with the process as well as a poorly-received (and downright terrible) film – Night Train To Murder (1984) – the pair brought the series to an end.

By 1984 Eric was happy in semi-retirement, concentrating on his writing while still fulfilling the odd work commitment, like the one he had with old friend Stan Stennett.  The show was a light-hearted Q&A that soon turned into a one-man show with Eric delighting at the audiences reaction to seeing him.  It was following this event that Eric suffered his third, and fatal, heart attack, eventually succumbing early in the morning of 28th May, 1985.

Ernie, meanwhile had kept on working, returning to the stage.  He also wrote his autobiography and became a regular guest on What’s My Line? and Countdown. After a number of health problems, Ernie officially announced his retirement from showbusiness on his 70th birthday, 27th November 1995.  While enjoying his retirement in Florida, Ernie had two heart attacks which resulted in a triple bypass operation.  He was later flown home and taken to Nuffield Hospital where, on 21st March, he passed away.

The legacy of Eric & Ernie is immeasurable.  Countless comics and writers have followed, each learning from their extensive back catalogue of comedy.  Much has been written about them in the years since, with most of the attention focussed on Eric while Ernie has been largely forgotten as one of the driving forces of the duo.  Both were hugely talented, funny and much-loved by millions of viewers.  Their sketches and gags have become part of the British way of life.  How many of us hear a police siren and utter those immortal words: “He’s not going to sell much ice-cream going at that speed” or, indeed, imagine ourselves dancing along to The Stripper while making breakfast?

Morecambe & Wise provided the world with pure family entertainment, a little bit of sunshine in our lives and a song in our hearts.  It is testament that, over thirty years since their last television show went out, that they are still as big a part of the landscape as they ever were with repeats of their shows on at least every Christmas and countless stage plays and television dramas written about them, ensuring that their memories, and those of their shows, live on forever.

TV Heroes: Morecambe & Wise

 

“I’d like to thank all of you for watching me and my little show here tonight. If you’ve enjoyed it, then it’s all been worthwhile. So, until we meet again, good night, and I love you all!”