Beyond The Rainbow?

This is my first attempt at a Friday Fictioneers and I have to say its reignited something in me that I thought was lost…hope you like it!

Madison’s link:  http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/rainbows/

 

 

Sam strained his eyes to focus as the sun pierced through the trees.  His surroundings were unfamiliar to him. 

He had no recollection at all of how he got to this place, a luscious, green field in the middle of nowhere.  For all he knew he could be dead and this was some kind of heaven. 

He pinched himself to be sure, but felt nothing.  That was it then.  He was dead.  Not even the sight of a rainbow could convince him otherwise.

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23 thoughts on “Beyond The Rainbow?

  1. Welcome to the crowd … it’s an interesting challenge creating a story, a vignette, a description (or whatever) with just 100 words. Quite the challenge, and your first effort is admirably done. One reason I say that is because I would like to know what the next 100 words have to say. From what I have read today, mine seems to have taken a little different take on the rainbow. You can find it at http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/05/rainbow-promises.html. I cheated and added a seven word sentence at the end that took me over 100, but it’s the only way I could make it work. I’d appreciate it if you had some suggestions for other ways I might have handled the problem.

    1. Thank you…its one of the joys of having different perspectives on one picture, no two stories are the same! I can’t think of anyway you could improve on your story, it seems to work just fine as it is 🙂 I like how your “little cheat” at the end serves as a punchline to a possibly longer joke that we haven’t been let in on! I’m looking forward to writing more as I have let my creative side become dormant for too long and its a thrill to have such nice feedback from others 😉

  2. Baby steps add up in the end, so I’m glad to see you’ve taken it here with us! Welcome to the Friday Fictioneers 🙂

    I loved your story. I liked the perspective and would love to know more about how he got there and whether he’s really dead. Great job at hooking the reader in a short space.

  3. Dear Shadowchaser,

    Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Your story is a good beginning and leaves me wanting more. I wonder, though, if with a little more work the mystery and shock of your reveal could have been heightened. I was left with a kind of, “okay, I’m dead” sort of feeling. Felt the vibe but wanted more impact in the way he found out.

    I’m stepping out on a limb here telling you this in this fashion and format. Some people don’t like to hear concrit. Let me know if I should back off and just say “good job” for each story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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